So angy..!!!

Anger is a word and a feeling that it cannot be described...It's an emotion that all people have in there daily life,,,
That emotion I've been having it since the age of 12 but as the years passing by this anger is getting bigger and bigger..
I'm very happy when I'm at school with ma friends, i feel good and i have fun...
When i come home and I'm alone I'm so calm...But when my mother comes at home from work then my anger starts...I can't explane why... Coss I'm not sure....
I need help that's for sure...

i want that thought out.....

That thought, that mean thought is still in my mind...the thought that tells me all the time you are FAT..DON'T EAT...But What i do when the lunch comes? the dinner?? what I'm i suppose to do? I don't know... I'm lost, lost in me...my self, my personality...I don't show that in front of other people, but when I'm alone i feel sad, loneliness, scared but also angry with me, with my thoughts, my acting towards my parents...I need you to speak to me...Help me...What do you think?

Simple AnD CleAN

When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby, don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

You're giving me too many things
Lately you're all I need
You smiled at me and said,

Don't get me wrong I love you
But does that mean I have to meet your father?
When we are older you'll understand
What I meant when I said "No,
I don't think life is quite that simple"

When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby, don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

What's the worst thing I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

what's the worst thing I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Did anyone ask us??

We came into this world for one reason, to live and to bring others to life.. But did anyone ask us if we wanted to come to this world, or the country we were born in.
Did anyone ask us if we wanted to have the name we have now? Did anyone tell us that we'll be looking the way we look right now? Did anyone care about us before we were borned?
Do we know the meaning of life? Do we know why we have to live? Do we know why we die? NO...Because no one told us....
We came into this world knowing nothing. We were borned looking for something...That something we are still looking for ... We didn't find it, because we don't even know what it is.
But the fact is that even though we are here feeling that we don't know the meaning of being alive we still don't want to die...We are afraid of death...But why we are afraid of it, if we don't know what death is in real...? that's so strange...
But we are here...We are alive as long as God wants us to be...So we have to be pleased about it and just live.....

Afraid

I'm afraid of the fact that I'm afraid all the time... Afraid of what I'm going to eat..Afraid of what others are going to say about me... Afraid of my future afraid of my own self...
But i know that now I'm ready to fight that afraidnes and through it out of my mind forever...I know that is not going to happen tommorow or the day after...But someday in the future it's going to happen for sure..I'm willing to find my own strength and my personality to fight against all my nightmares..
I'm sure that i will make it...

perfection

Can anyone tell me what perfection is? I don't think that you can... Because the meaning of perfection does not exist...You think perfect is someone with a great shape of body? or a great personality, or maybe beautiful on the outside....

Well your wrong...we have no idea what perfection stands for...there isn't such thing as perfect...
You can say what a perfect day....and then it starts to rain...that's not perfect... You say''what a beautiful girl'' and after 10 years is the ungliest of all...still not perfect...you know why? Because perfection really does not exist for ever...or maybe did not existed from always....

I'm sure when you see this picture you feel sick... But there are girls out there who look like this. I don't want to be a part of them.... I want to have a normal life... I want to live good, happy, thinking about the future, making new friends... That's the life i want.....

AND I WIIL GET IT....

I'm sick of the fact that i feel sorry for my self all the time... I meen who I'm I right?? i should think of other things. Not only for me all the time..Wake up Victoria!! life is not just a thought: i will eat? or not? that's just stupid..... i need to find the old Vicky and bring her back......

I still don't feel happy

I changed school i made new friends, everyday i try to change... But i can't. I always stay in the same, in the same place, the same dark place from which i can't find the exit.
I feel sad alone...i can't find hope.I don't know what i want anymore. I'm loosing my family I'm loosing my self..i hate me. i wish i was dead... I know what I'm saying you may find it stupid... But i believe in every single word i say..

feeling the need to change

In some point of our life we have the need to change. Not only fisycally but personally. I'm in that place right now.. I want to change the way i see things, the way i understand some facts.
But I can't find it possible. I don't feel strong enough . I sure did a pretty big step though. I've changed school and i feel very happy now... I'm making new friends. I've started to trust people and thats very important.I hope all the year will continue like this...

the way i see my self

I don't have a good opinion about my self... i hate the way i look.. I can't find any positive thing about my personality or my looks.... I'm so........ sad....i just wanna cry all the time... i need someone, i need help... i need to talk.. i need my family... i want to be happy again.. Because right now I'm just sad, scared, alone, afraid of the present, afraid of the future..
I'm looking for the light that is going to make me see... But for my bad luck i can't find anything.. All i see is dark, I can't even see my self..
I need to know that I'm not alone into this trip... I need to know that someone is there with me too... Right now even if i know that my family supports me..i still feel all by my self... I don't know....
I'm not ok......

Everyone thinks is so easy.....
they all believe it's so simple...
No one can understand that is so difficult

we don't know what we kneed
do we kneed a hug?
a kiss?
NO

oUR LiFe is ruind..

that's what we all think in the first place...


But is there something we can do?


I believe there is...... we all just have to HOPE....

I need you to know.....that we'll be ok

together we can make it through, another day

I need you to know......... that we are not alone.....

we have one another,

we have each others world

i kneed you to know....... that we'll be OK....

together we will make it through another day


because we are strong...... we are not alone.....


we have each others love.....that's what we all fighting for...

Yet another welcome post.

Hello all,

This is a blog created by myself to write thoughts that run through my mind every now and then. Specifically this blog will be dedicated and hopefully reach all those people that suffer from any form of anorexia.

Please feel free to discuss with me any kind of related topic that may arise in the future.

Regards,

Vicky